Over the last month-ish, I’ve done pretty good. I’ve upped my water intake, replaced terrible breakfasts with protein shakes and bars, tracked my food, and generally just eaten a lot better. Not perfect, but a lot better.
Until 3 days ago.
One week from today I start my pre-op diet and at that point everything changes. No more bacon double cheeseburgers. No more New York Strips (the big one) with loaded baked potatoes. No more Coca-Cola, Mountain Dew, or sweet tea. No more huge pieces of cake, huge bowls of ice cream, or way too many chocolate chip cookies. No more eating so many pieces of pizza you are going to have to be carted out of the restaurant…
And I’ve been setting my mind to being okay with that. I’ve been focused on what I will gain out of this and what I WANT to gain out of this. A healthier body. A healthier mindset toward “food as fuel.” I’ve really been leaning into this new mindset and over the last month, give or take, I’ve lost 20 pounds and have been eating really good.
Until 3 days ago.
Suddenly it’s like a switch flipped and I am having food fear.
“Eat this huge steak, it’s the last full one you will ever have.”
“Eat this chocolate bar, it’s the last full one you will ever have.”
And so forth.
I consulted a Facebook group I’m on of Men’s Bariatric Surgery patients and turns out I guess I’m pretty normal. They suggested that since I haven’t started my diet, to go ahead and indulge a bit but to keep it in check. Have a little bit…indulge one meal a day…but don’t let it spiral out.
This morning I got to work and even though I had my protein shake sitting right there on my desk, I wanted badly to run out to the vending machine and get some terrible crap I would regret. But after talking it through with some guys in that group, I didn’t give in.
Anyway, I’m really sharing this here to keep myself honest and in check.