Today is day 11 of my pre-op diet. This plan has been a big struggle for me. For the first 10 days I felt hungry all the time. ALL THE TIME. Not only was I hungry but I’ve had no energy and, I don’t know if this is related or not, but I was achy and extra stiff and sore (my knees always hurt, but they hurt even more in that time.)
By day 10 I was really worried if I was making a huge mistake with this whole thing. For the most part I’ve stuck with the plan. I wouldn’t say I’ve “cheated” but I did slightly “hack” the pre-op plan a couple of times. But for the most part I’ve stuck with it. I’ve lost around 20 pounds just in the last week and a half! I’ve had some really good victories in this time (see my post about resisting the Baptist pot luck I found myself at!)
But yesterday, day 10, I was just feeling like throwing in the towel. I obsessed about food, I almost stopped at Taco Bell, I was agitated and grumpy and anxious all. I was just in a really bad place about it all.
I’m not sure what clicked or changed, but today has been a much better day. I’ve felt much better overall, I have felt a bit hungry, but not desperately starving like I did previously. My energy is still a little low but is better than it has been the last few days. That’s probably to be expected with under 800 calories a day for 11 days. But over all, it’s been the easiest of the hard days.
This reminds me of a song by Jason Isbell. His song is about being a recovering alcoholic but there is something in this chorus for me to think about.
It gets easier but it never gets easy
I can say it’s all worth it, but you won’t believe me
Hold down your liquor or swallow your pride
You’d rather keep it inside
It gets easier but it never gets easy
On the days it’s really hard, and on the days its easier, we still have to keep in mind that this is how life is. Some days are harder, some days are easier. Be thankful for the easier days, push through the hard days, hoping the easier days are ahead.
Here’s hoping the next few days remain easier.