We are in the holiday season as I write this, and I’ve just been grinding away at day to day life, so I realize my posts have gotten a bit less frequent (not that I think literally any other human is reading this!). But I’m back with an update.
Back in the summer when I went to my first appointment at the bariatric doctor, I weighed in at 508. I knew I was hovering around the 500 mark, but I didn’t realize it had gone over.
Today, I woke up to my first major goal…As of today I am at 407.6 (which I round up to 408). That’s right, 100 pounds down!
It’s not been easy. The tool of weight loss surgery helps significantly, and I am absolutely sure I wouldn’t be at this point on my own, but make no mistake: This is a daily, even moment-by-moment, fight. It is a physical and mental battle. It is doable, but I’ve come so far from my mindset of previous years, thinking this surgery is a crutch or a cheat. It’s far from it. I’ve been fighting a war and someone gave me a sophisticated fighter jet…I still have to learn the controls, the ins and outs, how to fly it, navigate it, and how to get through unexpected and tricky situations.
You still fight the old habits. Your food addictions. Your wanting to eat when you are bored, happy, sad, frustrated, anxious. You seem to stand on two sides of a fight, where your head misses the old food, and your body doesn’t even want the food you have now.
You fight a lot of new physical challenges. Why do eggs suddenly make me sick? What WILL happen if I have just tiny bity of chocolate? Man I miss tortillas! Why did I wake up with a mouth so dry it feels like sand. I’m so sick of water…and protein shakes…and the same few foods over and over and over and… And, lets just get really real for a second…when in the hell will I poop again? It’s been 3 days!
These are all challenges unique to this process. Thankfully I haven’t experienced two of the biggest ones: dumping and “the foamies”. I’m chalking those up to the iron stomach I’ve always had. But there are still big challenges here.
BUT…
Today I’m putting all of that aside to celebrate for a moment. I am 100 pounds down.
It’s been probably 6 or 7 years since I’ve been down to this point. I’ve got a long way to go…at least another 150 I’d like to drop…so it’s a long haul. Then when it’s off I want to keep it off. So it’s not a sprint…or even a marathon. It’s a lifetime. I hope I’m up to the whole challenge, but I’m thankful every day for this tool.
Later on and further out…lets grind.