Do you see that door all the way down at the end of the hall in this photo? Just to the left of it is my office door.
Normally I park out back and come in our back door to our office. It’s just about 20 steps from car to desk. Last fall, just before my surgery, we had to park in a different place for a few days. So for those few days I walked this hall four times a day (coming in, going to lunch, coming back from lunch, going home.)
For most people this is something you wouldn’t even think about…but the weight I was at this was a BIG DEAL. There are about 75 steps from where this was shot to our office door, then another 10 to my desk, and another 25 from where this is shot out to my car. So each of those 4 trips was about 110 steps. A MERE 110 STEPS!
Yet, it stressed me greatly. Why? Because I knew my knees would hurt doing this. I knew I’d get a bit winded. I knew if it was warm I’d even get a little bit sweaty…just walking 110 steps.
On a similar note, our business is adjacent to a local Community College. About 3 years ago I had a meeting over at the college. It is about an 8 minute walk from my office to where we met. I foolishly thought I would just walk it instead of driving over there. In that walk I had to find a place to sit down and rest…twice…and even then I huffed and puffed and sweated…all during an 8 minute (or less) walk. My knees let me know how unhappy they were.
That’s where I was in life. I was miserable. I’ve talked about it before on here but ANY walking was something I thought hard about and usually stressed about. That door you see at the end of the hallway is actually a bathroom door. As I said my office is just to the left of it. It’s about 15 steps from my desk to the bathroom and it was something I thought about.
Why am I sharing this? It seems kind of silly and insignificant doesn’t it?
But that’s where I was at. That’s how bad things were. It was terrible.
I am coming up on losing 200 pounds from where I was at my highest weight last summer. I still have almost 100 to go after that…so this journey is far from over.
This hallway…that walk to my car…is now just a memory. Yesterday I had to park out there and it was absolutely no problem to walk it. The entire walk I thought about it. But not in the way I used to. I thought about how effortless it was compared to how it used to be. I felt that needed sense of accomplishment for what I’d done.
Earlier this week we had another meeting over at the college. I walked over. I didn’t stop once. I didn’t get out of breath or sweaty. My knees didn’t punish me later. But the whole way I remembered how it was before vs. how it was this time. And I also imagined how it might be when I lose 50…70…90(?) more pounds. I imagined how it might be when I do finally get my knees replaced.
It’s been years…decades maybe…since I’ve run ANY distance. Maybe some day I will run again. Maybe not. But either way I don’t want to forget how bad things were. I want to keep that as a motivation for where I am, where I’m going, and what I want to achieve.
Never forget.